Spring Fever

I guess I should apoligize for not blogging for almost 3 weeks. It's not that nothing interesting has happened, but I just had to take a step back for awhile and re-focus on some things.

As I said in my last post, everything worked out okay in the end with my dad walking into the camp and finding me and Brad in bed together. Bitch in still being persistant in talking to him (my dad) and finding out what he really saw. She's still convinced that Brad was out there with another girl. This is hilarious because she's too stupid for her own good. She's said for so long that Brad and I are "together" but when she's actually told that he and I were the only two people at the camp that night, she doesn't believe it. As soon as I heard that she was trying to bring my dad into the whole mess, I freaked. I told her no one, especially my dad of all people, wanted drug into the shitstorm that is her life, because no one cares. All she knows how to do is bitch, which she gets honestly because her mother is the dictionary definition of the word, so I guess you can't really hold it against her. She still insists on staying at my house a lot of the time, but that's coming to an end tonight whether she likes it or not.

Brad finally bought a new car last week. Which is good, because the guy hasn't had his own car since he totalled his last one 3 years ago. But last night showed everyone why it's a bad thing too. Like I said, in the winter, he uses his snowmobile to travel around, which can be limited depending on how cold it is out and how far you really want to go. With a car, none of that matters, and when he gets in one of those blind rages, you never know where he might end up. So last night, he and Bitch got in a huuuuge fight in his bedroom, and he flung the dresser over and punched the back out of it. And as Bitch walked out, he put his fist through the door also. She got in her car and left. Where does she come? My house. Why I have no idea. That's how I found all of this out, from her. She kept wondering if he was going to work or not and finally I just said "Call his damn cell phone and ask him if it's driving you that crazy" and she hands ME the phone and says "You do it. I don't wanna talk to him" I said no, because it was none of my business what happened between the two of them, and plus I didn't really have anything else to ask him and I didn't wanna be like "Hi u going to work? Okay bye." because I'd been talking to him earlier that day and he'd already said he had to work that night. So Bitch started dialing his cell and he drove by my house, which is on the way to his work, and it was about the time he would have been going to work so she closed the phone and set it down. "Obviously he's going" she said, and I nodded.

About 20 minutes later, I got in my car to go get some cigarettes and when I pulled into the parking lot, I saw his car there. And his dad's car sitting right beside it. I walked inside and saw Brad at the counter paying for a 12-pack of beer. He turned and smiled when he saw me, and I said "decided to call in sick?" He said yeah, and asked if I wanted to go drink beer with him. Of course I said yes. When we got back outside, his dad cornered him and they got in a shouting match over why he didn't go to work. Brad just said "go home and look at my bedroom. I'm just in a bad mood." So that was that. We drove to the baseball field and watched the rest of the game there, and then headed down to a friends house to watch the hockey game. About 11:30 Brad said he was going home, and since I had to work today, I said I was leaving to go home too. When we got outside, I stood in front of his door and asked where he was going. He said he didn't know, so I said I wasn't moving until he figured it out. He persisted in saying he was gonna drive around for awhile, not smart when he's had enough beer plus he's in a "mood". Finally I got tired of arguing with him so I shook his hand, and said goodbye. He asked why I "said it like that", and I replied with "because the way you're going tonight I might not ever see you again." He gave me the classic eye roll, and I told him "you never know what might happen." He assured me he would be fine, and I said "okay but I'm calling your cell phone at 1:30. If you answer it and let me know where you are, it's cool. If you don't answer, I'm getting back in my car and coming to look for you." He said fine, and off we drove. He turned up the road to his house when we drove by it, and I kept going to my house.

Naturally, when I got home, Bitch was there, crashing on the couch again. She had to know all the details but I was too damn tired, and I had a feeling I would be getting up again in an hour to start a search party. Sure enough, at 1:28, I awake to see Bitch standing over my bed with her cell in her hand. I asked what she was doing, and she said "he's sitting outside in his car." and right when she said that, I heard a car drive away. She walked out and I grabbed my phone. He picked up on the third ring, sounding very chipper. I asked where he was going. "Home" he said. I asked where he was, he described a part of the road thats known for lots of animals at night, along with two very twisty turns. I asked how fast he was going. "90" he said (kilometres an hour, about 55 mph) which wasn't too bad. "I'm crossing the bridge now. Oh, and I'm up to 130 now." (About 82 mph) which is too fast to be driving on that road at 1:30 in the morning. I started to say something and he said "Bye" and hung up. I just laid there in bed, shaking my head when about 5 minutes later Bitch walked back in and handed me her phone. "Listen to that voicemail" she said. It was Brad, who must have left it right when he hung up on me, saying "next time you see me I won't be saying hi and I won't be saying bye. You're not here to stop me tonight" and hung up. I dropped her phone and jumped out of bed and started pulling my jeans on. She said she was coming with me, and I said "the fuck you are bitch, you're the reason he's in this mood tonight." She said "if he tries to kill himself I wanna be there to laugh in his face" which was about the point I felt like putting my fist through her face. "If I can't go with you I'll just take my own car" and started to walk towards the door. I was quicker though, and on my way out I grabbed her keys off the bar and my rommmates car keys off the wall. "You're not fuckin goin anywhere" I said to her as I jumped in my car and drove away.

I drove like a bat out of hell until I got to the bad stretch of road. Then I slowed down and started looking for a red car in the ditch, against a tree, or a hole in the bridge's guardrail. Nothing. I followed the road all the way to his house, where I was more than relieved to see his car parked in the driveway. There was a light on inside, so I killed my headlights and turned in the cul-de-sac. I was gonna just go back home, but part of me was still trying to tell me he wasn't alright yet, for me to go back. But I didn't wanna wake anyone else in the house up, so I drove down the road a ways and left the car there. I started walking back towards his house and my cell rang. It was him. He sounded a lot calmer.
"I'm home." he said
"Good. You're okay?" I asked
"Yeah. I'm cool. Where are you?" He asked
"Just taking a walk."
"Couldn't sleep?" He asked
"Something like that," I replied, "do me a favour? Just talk to me for a few minutes?"
"Sure" he said.

As I walked, he said how he had broken something on his car on the way home and where it sat in the driveway was where it died. He hasn't even made his first payment on it yet, and it was busted already. I told him it sounded like the alternator, that it wasn't his fault, when they go, they just go. You can't really intentionally break one. And his car isn't BRAND new, either. By now I was standing at his front door, debating whether to go in or not. I walked around back and stood in front of the sliding glass door. I oculd see him in the light from the TV but he had no idea that I was even near his house, let alone standing outside like a peeping tom watching him. It was kinda funny. He was drinking a glass of chocolate milk *gag* and a bologna sandwich. How I knew it was bologna, I have no idea, I just did. As we were talking, he took a drink of milk and some of it spilled on his shirt.
"Better put something on that or it'll stain" I said into the phone.
He said, "Yeah I kn--- where the hell are you?" He whispered.
I started giggling and asked if his sandwich tasted good. He grinned and turned towards the door. Into the phone I asked if this door was locked. He said no and I slid it open and walked in.
"heyyy, you finally freaked me out." He grinned.

I sat down beside him on the couch and we talked back and forth about how Bitch is psychotic and about how mad Brad was when she said she was going to bring my dad in on the whole thing and just stuff like that. He suggested we go outside for a cigarette after about 10 minutes. After we finished I told him that I was going home. He told me just to sleep there for the night, where it was so late. I said no, because I had to get up for work anyways, and plus there was nowhere to sleep.
"With me" he said quietly. He had that look in his eyes. "I really need to relieve some pent up frusteration.
"Not in your parents' house." I told him.
"I can be quiet" he bargained.
"If you're gonna be relieving pent up frusteration, I don't wanna be quiet." I said with a laugh.
"Yeah, you're right. Probably should just go to sleep." He started walking back in the house when he turned. He stuck his hand out so I grabbed it and shook it. He pulled me into a hug, a big, tight one. He wrapped both arms around me, and I wrapped mine around him. He pushed me gently up against the wall and pressed his whole body into mine. He buried his head in my shoulder and whispered "thanks for making sure I was okay." I whispered back "no problem" and kissed his cheek. He turned his head and kissed my lips, still hugging me almost too tightly. He pulled back, and said goodnight. Then he stopped and said "why do you worry about me so much?"
"Because I don't have anything else in my life that I care enough about." I could feel it coming. I was gonna say it. But I didn't. I stopped myself. In retrospect I probably should have. If he would have received it in a good way, that was the time. But I didn't. By the look on his face, I think he was about half-expecting me to say it too. He had a twinkle in his eyes. I smiled and started walking down the steps.
He whispered "good night" again, and I whispered it back. I heard him tell his dog something, and a minute later I turn to see the dog following me. She caught up to me and walked past about 3 steps. She led me all the way to my car, sat down beside it until I got in, and when I reached my hand out to pat her head, she licked it twice and started strolling back to the house. This is the smartest dog I have ever seen. She took me all this way (about half a city block) to my car, waited until I was inside, then walked back home.

I fully expected Bitch to be waiting up for me when I got home, but she wasn't. I snuck inside and went to bed and somehow woke up on time and dragged myself into work. So that pretty much brings us up to right now, and I just got a voicemail from Brad asking me about his car. So I'm gonna get back to work; call him back, and I'll try to keep a better timeline of things... Later