The Inevitable

Well, nothing too interesting has happened since my last post... Brad has been staying at my house pretty much full-time, which has been great, even though Bitch is almost always with him. Mind you, we've had lots of chances to fool around when she's not there, and we have pretty much everywhere: the shower, my bed, his bed, all over the living room, well pretty much all over the whole goddamn house. I'd blog about some of those (because believe me, some of them are definitely blog-worthy) but the purpose of my post today is to say that the moment I've been dreading for months has finally come.

Brad is moving across the country next week.

He decides to tell me this as the two of us are driving home Monday night in freezing rain in my brand new car sans snow tires, so at first I got pissed off that he made me skid out and almost land the car in the ditch, but after I got control again I didn't really know what to say. Honestly I'd like to say I tried to convince him otherwise but I knew that this time he was serious. I barely said a word to him for the rest of the night. My mind was racing, I had tried to prepare myself for it, and I honestly thought I could convince him to wait until spring, when I'm planning on moving out, and even if he is going now, he wants to come back for Christmas (even though I can't see that happening) and worse case scenario we're talking like 2-3 months at most.

But that's TWO OR THREE MONTHS.

I've gotten pretty accustomed to spending pretty much every night with this guy over the past couple of months. Me, who less than 4 years ago was thisclose to asking my girlfriend, who I worshipped, to marry me. But she fucked around so I canned her ass. Then I thought I fell in love with Brad's sister, but boy was I wrong when she got knocked up by a drug dealer. Then out of nowhere, I fuck my best friend. Totally random, drunk sex with a guy I've been friends with since I was 10, and I go and fall in love with him. Then he tells me he loves me back. THEN he tells me he's moving to the other side of the country. Just as we start making some actual progress. And I know he's not moving to escape me, per se, the guy lost his job. The biggest industry here is falling to pieces and all the smaller businesses rely on that so that means there are no jobs here at all, basically. The West is the place to be and that's where I want to be too but just not right now. Christmas is coming and my whole family lives here, and I just can't go now. But man, it's hard to choose when you feel this strongly about someone and they leave.

I was looking forward to spending Christmas with Brad like I did last year. I have gifts for him already bought. I'll probably end up giving them to him before he leaves, or maybe not at all. I dunno yet. He knows that I'm pissed, and I usually spaz out on him which pisses him off, but this time I didn't. I gave him the semi-silent treatment for a couple hours and since then I've let on like it hasn't bothered me. It does, and he knows that too, but I guess on the other hand this might be good for me. Spend some time away from each other. Honestly I'm just saying that. I'll be miserable for awhile and want to see him all the time. For a guy that hates winter, this is really gonna make things even worse...

The upside is, I get to have goodbye sex with him. Goodbye sex is almost as good as breakup sex with a little angry sex mixed in. I'm definitely gonna make sure that he won't soon forget it. I think the handcuffs need to come back out of retirement for this...

Oh and trust me, I'll definitely blog about it.

-Clark-